Nigerian American or American Nigerian
My title may seem a little misleading or interesting to some, but I've always been kind of wary of my situation, one that many have likely gone through. I feel as though I'm kind of a washed out African in a sense, or at least that's what I've been (rudely) told. I don't have a city or country accent, and my English is apparently "better than anticipated". However, aside from being partially branded, with an easily removable sticker, in comparison to the other things I've been called for various reasons, I sometimes struggle with embracing the two cultures I am apart of. Where do I turn to whenever some type of racial dilemma comes up? Who am I deep down inside...?
I'm not mixed, both of my parents are Nigerian, therefore I am as well. However, I was born and raised primarily in america (where I spent most of my days...), only going to Nigeria for short periods at a time for "vacation" or as I called it torture in sand and very hot weather. However, this was when I was a child, and I knew no better, now that I have time to reflect, I know my parents intended for me to embrace the culture that I know very little about. Now a days I'm trying to learn the language for when I inevitably go back, so I'm not just a fish out of water and may possibly enjoy my time there. My mom always told me about how america always depicted other places in the world as worse off and the same holds true to Nigeria, which is shown in the media as scammers and corrupt, however that's likely just some and not all of it.
I don't think I have to get into much detail about american culture, we celebrate Christmas (and I know there are a lot of other holidays, but this is what we do), we have birthday parties, we do the typical things in an american's daily life. This is around where color of skin hits one gently across the face, although I do everything a normal american would do, a Chinese american, a Brazilian american, a German american, I sometimes feel like I'm treated differently. I feel as if I'm looked kind of down on, primarily by non-progressive people, and you may be wondering "Alex (or Leslie) how do you feel as though you're being looked down on, aren't you just assuming things", however assumption is ironically where all this stems from. People just assume things about me based on my color, and realistically I know they have nothing else to go off of, so I don't take much offense to questions like "Are you African, which part of Africa are you from?" (the answer to which I was told at the young age of 7 and forgot). However when you start just calling me the N word without my consent... I kind of get uncomfortable, but not furious. I feel like there's a fine line of harmless questions, to hurtful racial slang (but that may just be me).
I just find it kind of fascinating, how we could all be born with the same amount of money, at the same time, yet be treated differently for some trivial things. I feel like I'm an american that's trying to embrace (some) culture roots of his heritage, but society makes me feel like I'm a little less than special... I'm likely just blowing this out of proportion though (this did get kind of rant/reflectiony). I guess the moral of this story is to eat your vegetables and study your native language!😅 (I'll try to keep my next entry light, once again I'm sorry about this ranty reflection.)
I'm not mixed, both of my parents are Nigerian, therefore I am as well. However, I was born and raised primarily in america (where I spent most of my days...), only going to Nigeria for short periods at a time for "vacation" or as I called it torture in sand and very hot weather. However, this was when I was a child, and I knew no better, now that I have time to reflect, I know my parents intended for me to embrace the culture that I know very little about. Now a days I'm trying to learn the language for when I inevitably go back, so I'm not just a fish out of water and may possibly enjoy my time there. My mom always told me about how america always depicted other places in the world as worse off and the same holds true to Nigeria, which is shown in the media as scammers and corrupt, however that's likely just some and not all of it.
I don't think I have to get into much detail about american culture, we celebrate Christmas (and I know there are a lot of other holidays, but this is what we do), we have birthday parties, we do the typical things in an american's daily life. This is around where color of skin hits one gently across the face, although I do everything a normal american would do, a Chinese american, a Brazilian american, a German american, I sometimes feel like I'm treated differently. I feel as if I'm looked kind of down on, primarily by non-progressive people, and you may be wondering "Alex (or Leslie) how do you feel as though you're being looked down on, aren't you just assuming things", however assumption is ironically where all this stems from. People just assume things about me based on my color, and realistically I know they have nothing else to go off of, so I don't take much offense to questions like "Are you African, which part of Africa are you from?" (the answer to which I was told at the young age of 7 and forgot). However when you start just calling me the N word without my consent... I kind of get uncomfortable, but not furious. I feel like there's a fine line of harmless questions, to hurtful racial slang (but that may just be me).
I just find it kind of fascinating, how we could all be born with the same amount of money, at the same time, yet be treated differently for some trivial things. I feel like I'm an american that's trying to embrace (some) culture roots of his heritage, but society makes me feel like I'm a little less than special... I'm likely just blowing this out of proportion though (this did get kind of rant/reflectiony). I guess the moral of this story is to eat your vegetables and study your native language!😅 (I'll try to keep my next entry light, once again I'm sorry about this ranty reflection.)
This is a very relatable post for me. The entire post flowed very nicely and I liked the comparisons you made. It's very well written. By the way, I don't know if you've noticed but both our blogs have been following the same themes. Maybe we have a lot more common than I realized?
ReplyDeleteNo need to apologize, Alex! This doesn't seem "ranty" at all to me. And even if it were, some topics are worth ranting about.
ReplyDeleteYou were totally right about many people going through the 'am I a ______ American or American ________' cultural dilemma, and it seems that you and I both belong in that currently-in-dilemma group. Your post is very relatable to me, although sometimes in a roundabout way (there's a word that's a little like the N word for Asians that also generates various emotions from different people). This post also flows in a way that is like a thought process. It makes it easy to read for me and easy to understand. Nice!
ReplyDeleteAlex, I really relate to a lot of the things you were saying. Both my parents are from China, and I think it is a strange situation in our modern world when a family moves away from their ancient roots, and a child is born in a land completely new to his or her parents, but is just home to the kid. Especially when I was younger, my Chinese ethnicity seemed like an unavoidable aspect of my countenance, and I didn't know how to work around it and fit in. Race is a subject that should always be approached with sensitivity and respect. These days, I usually think less about my race in terms of being different. I can't put that thought past myself entirely though. This post is great!
ReplyDeleteAwesome blog post. Christelle's blog post also relates to this, and I think it shows that this is pretty relatable to immigrant kids, that has that sort of culture conflict of what they are and who they're supposed to be.
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